No hope left

Barely breathing

The pain was overwhelming, pressing down upon my chest with enough force that I believed it was going to last a lifetime. It was a heavy weight, but also penetrating, one that cut to the very depth of my soul, searing into every fiber of my being, leaving nothing behind untouched.

Day after day I experienced moments when I felt as though I couldn't draw in enough air to continue breathing; sometimes I didn't care if I did or not. My life seemed to be unraveling, but all I could do was stand on the sideline and watch as if from a great distance. I was living, but not really alive. I was breathing, but only barely.

No hope left

It seems like just yesterday those feelings were echoing throughout my soul. I don't believe I could recount to you all the times I asked God why I wasn’t able to have a child, all the ways I compared my life with women who had been blessed by children, or all the times I wondered what it would be like to see my husband’s eyes combined with my own. 

When it comes to desires of the heart, we all have that one thing we want so desperately we sometimes lose sight of why we want it in the first place. When this happens, the want begins to grow until suddenly it consumes our entire being, envelopes our conscious, and then before we realize it has happened, we are left feeling completely hopeless. 

All alone

For me, the saddest feeling of all was the belief that I was alone in my pain; I thought no one else could truly understand my hurt, or my loss. After all, the pain was mine to deal with. It belonged to me, and I wore it well like a badge of anger and hopelessness.

‘I rise early, before the sun is up; I cry out for help and put my hope in your words.’ 

Psalm 119:147 NLT

It was only when I understood and acknowledged the power this pain had over me, that I was finally able to loosen the chains holding me in place. For me, true breakthrough came when I admitted I was not alone, that I had never been alone. God had been present through every instance of pain and every moment of doubt; in fact, He had been keeping track every single tear I had ever cried.

‘You keep track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.’

Psalm 56:8 MSG

Hope is not an elusive mystery we can't expect to attain. Instead, it is something right in front of us; our job is to reach out and take it. God gives it to us as a promise for a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. His light breaks through our darkness to reveal a future we can look forward to with great expectation and hope.

'So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary.'

(Hebrews 6:18-19 NLT)

Our hearts may feel as though they are breaking, all the plans we've made for the future may fall apart, friends and loves ones might walk away, and even still we are able to cling to hope.  Our hope doesn't comes from what the world provides for us, our Hope comes from a secure relationship in the One and Only, our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Father,
The world wants to constantly rob us of our hope, but we who are secure in You know they will never be able to take it from us.

Thank You for Your wonderful promises. May we always 'rejoice in our confident hope, be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.' Romans 12:12 NLT

Amen,

Salina

This devotion was part of a writing challenge that I did with two other writers.  Please take the time to read their devotion and leave a positive comment for them.  I'm sure you will be blessed.  Thanks

Anita:

Scattering the Stones
No Hope Left

Renee:
Encouragement of Faith
No Hope Left

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